Vol. I  ·  No. 1 April 1, 2026 Toronto–Boston Corridor
The Lassi Times
Punjabi Journalism at Its Finest  ·  Ikkdum Asli Khabaran!
ਸੱਚ ਦੱਸਣਾ ਸਾਡਾ ਫਰਜ਼ ਹੈ — (mostly)
🥛 Local Woman Consumes Dahi at Alarming Rate; Medical Community "Monitoring the Situation"     😄 Her Laugh is a Registered Public Health Asset, Scientists Confirm     🦕 "The Dinosaurs" Banned From Yet Another Playlist; No Comment From Pink Floyd yet     🧒 Vareyam Confirms: "Best Bua, No Notes, Final Answer, Stop Asking"     💅 Shaitaani Tattu Nickname Recipient Reportedly "Fine With It" — Clearly Not Fine With It    
Amandeep Devgan
📸

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Khaas Rport
⚡ Taza Khabar  ·  National Affairs

Boston Woman Amandeep Devgan Goes Viral Overnight. Sources call it "100% Percent Expected, Actually."

An anonymous tip reached our Toronto bureau last week. Within forty-five minutes we had a full dossier. Nickname victims wouldn't talk. Vareyam was way too eager to participate.

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By A. Sehmbi, Toronto Bureau  ·  The Lassi Times Investigative Desk  ·  April 1, 2026
Science & Health
"Her Laugh Has a 99% Success Rate" - Researchers Just Keep Smiling, Offer No Further Comment
Arts & Culture
Vareyam Confirms: "Best Bua, No Notes, Final Answer, Stop Asking"
Business
"I love breaking stuff because I know she can and will fix everything!" - Said Jenn